As mature and emotionally intelligent adults, you’d think that the ability to make ‘our line in the sand’ known to others would come quite naturally. What is OK by us and what’s not? How are others meant to know where we draw our line unless we live by it?
Conversely, you’d think that as mature and emotionally intelligent adults we’d be able to read where the line in the sand lies for others, and not to cross it. But again, if the other person hasn’t been clear in letting us know what’s OK by them and what’s not, then how are we to know?
I’ve had my line crossed frequently and I continue to, despite having interrogated myself with pondering “Do I not communicate well, or are people just stupid (/rude/ignorant/selfish)?”.
There are lines that I want drawn, and I want them drawn loud and clear.
- At what age do you take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming your parents for your misdemeanours?
- At what point do you take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming your employer for your poor work conditions and less-than-satisfactory pay packet?
- When do you realise that you have a responsibility to take part in your community and not just take from it. That is, your voice does count, so why not make it known to your local, state or federal representatives instead of whinging incessantly to those who don’t give a damn and can’t make a difference.
- At what time in your life do you take responsibility for your relationships and recognise that the recurring patterns are not by chance but rather completely in your control with you as the common denominator?
The common theme here is self-responsibility. No-one need wait any longer for permission to say “I’m bigger than this, here’s my line that no-one can cross. I’m going to live my life and make it awesome!”.
This responsibility also includes recognising and respecting where the lines of others lie, and with empathy and compassion in our hearts, realising that by virtue of what our lines stand for, they may cross without any intention on our part. And that is OK. It’s not having a line, or not communicating where your line lies, that’s the problem.