Draw Your Line

Line in Sand

As mature and emotionally intelligent adults, you’d think that the ability to make ‘our line in the sand’ known to others would come quite naturally. What is OK by us and what’s not? How are others meant to know where we draw our line unless we live by it?

Conversely, you’d think that as mature and emotionally intelligent adults we’d be able to read where the line in the sand lies for others, and not to cross it. But again, if the other person hasn’t been clear in letting us know what’s OK by them and what’s not, then how are we to know?

I’ve had my line crossed frequently and I continue to, despite having interrogated myself with pondering “Do I not communicate well, or are people just stupid (/rude/ignorant/selfish)?”.

There are lines that I want drawn, and I want them drawn loud and clear.

  1. At what age do you take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming your parents for your misdemeanours?
  2. At what point do you take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming your employer for your poor work conditions and less-than-satisfactory pay packet?
  3. When do you realise that you have a responsibility to take part in your community and not just take from it. That is, your voice does count, so why not make it known to your local, state or federal representatives instead of whinging incessantly to those who don’t give a damn and can’t make a difference.
  4. At what time in your life do you take responsibility for your relationships and recognise that the recurring patterns are not by chance but rather completely in your control with you as the common denominator?

The common theme here is self-responsibility. No-one need wait any longer for permission to say “I’m bigger than this, here’s my line that no-one can cross. I’m going to live my life and make it awesome!”.

This responsibility also includes recognising and respecting where the lines of others lie, and with empathy and compassion in our hearts, realising that by virtue of what our lines stand for, they may cross without any intention on our part. And that is OK. It’s not having a line, or not communicating where your line lies, that’s the problem.

About Sue McKay

Loving life as I boldly go where I've never been before. I'm a writer, photographer, greeting card designer and business owner of Kick It To Me Enterprises who has grand visions involving my Nikon, some surfers and my blog.

3 Responses to Draw Your Line

  1. Sandra says:

    Oh you have so hit so many subjects I ponder about often. There are so many things I would like to address. Our parents – so many of us have parents that were so so young when they started their families. I look at them now with such appreciation and I think that is a testament to my adulthood. As a teenager I had such a horrible relationship with ‘the folks’ and yes I thought they were so much the cause of all my problems. Now I think they did such a wonderful job with the limited tools they had. Lack of money, lack of family support, lack of language (for so many of them). My parents were strict, they were concerned with teaching us tools that we would need, they were social. I hated them for all of it. Now I want to be like them. I’m sure my parents look at my sister and me and think we are boring shits, we work, we work some more and we don’t often go out on a school night. Your second point when do we stop blaming our employer – if my teacher complained about me, my parents would tell me to look at myself. They wouldn’t side with my teacher. If I complained about my employer, they would do the same …. look at yourself, are you being adult or a snivelling kid. If you don’t like it do something to change it, don’t wait for someone to change it for you. Which brings me to your 3rd point. Community. Oh wow I have recently become so involved with community I think I’ve overdone it. I was asked to do minutes for meetings at the Croatian Club while someone was overseas. It’s been a year and I haven’t left. Instead, we have started a new committee which I have joined. I’ve started to help that community by volunteering my services in different areas and I love it. Friends in my neighbourhood have stared a beautification scheme and our first agenda item – Stobie poles. I have to tell you I love it. All of it! Love it! Love it! Love it! I am soooo busy, soooo tired, soooo overwhelmed and I don’t want to stop. I love community, I love the people I’ve met, the people I’m building relationships with. I feel like an adult, I want to give, I want to understand and I know it’s not about me. Yes take responsibility for yourself and maybe by thinking of others, you will find your adult self. Rant over x

  2. Pingback: Tactfully Yours | Sue McKay

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